Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Found your dick twin last night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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