your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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