Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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