Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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