Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
