So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
