New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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