OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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