I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
