We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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