I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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