I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
