I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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