He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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