It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
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