And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no, he came in my armpit
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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