So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
