I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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