addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
