Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
