I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
