god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
