So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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