Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
