and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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