she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
