btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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