We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
