Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
