it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
