is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
