Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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