Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
