i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
