I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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