I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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