so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
