im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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