i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
