we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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