You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
