just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
