she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
