Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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