Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
