Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
