you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
