WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
