Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
