Its about making memories worth repressing
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
