Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
